Who Is Responsible For You?

May 10, 2015 |

A little boy does something his parents are not suitably impressed with. When he is reprimanded, his response is “but Thabo did the same” which is why he did it. He then gets – at least I hope he does - the relatively standard talk about how, just because someone does something, you shouldn’t do it. For example, “if Thabo jumped off a cliff, would you do the same?” As a child, I was on the receiving end of various derivatives of this talk, several times, and, as a parent, I often give the same talk. “Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a...

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Like A Girl

Jul 6, 2014 | ,

There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself – John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994 My first child was a boy. I figured him out quite early. It’s always been easy to buy presents for him or to figure out the things that he likes. It doesn’t hurt that he seems to reflect me when I was his age so, often, the things I found cool are the things that he does. In terms of...

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Things My Father Taught Me (Win With Chivas)

Jun 15, 2014 | ,

Life is about example. Having example and being an example. My father has been my main parent since I was about one. My mother died in a car accident. Everything I have learnt about being a man, a professional, a husband, a father, etc has stemmed from my father. I started working for him in the family businesses from a very young age so I learnt how to work and gained skills directly from him outside of school but, more importantly, watching him over the years – I am now 42 and he is 79 – has shaped who I am. Whenever I am asked about my role models, my father is always the first I name but...

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Words From TV Fathers

Jun 23, 2013 | ,

The Good Men Project, which was started in 2009, is one of those sites and twitter accounts I follow because it often shares interesting thoughts related to the multi-dimensions of being a man. They define themselves as follows: We are a community of 21st Century thought leaders around the issue of men’s roles in modern life. We explore the world of men and manhood in a way that no media company ever has, tackling the issues and questions that are most relevant to men’s lives. We write about fatherhood, family, sex, ethics, war, gender, politics, sports, pornography, and aging. We shy away...

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In The Beginning (CP – 08.09.2009)

Jan 3, 2011 |

Late in 2009, I was fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to write a column for City Press' City Pulse, which is what the entertainment and lifestyle supplement was called - it is now called 7. It is always interesting for one to go back and revisit thoughts and ideas expressed and, as a result of that process, I will be posting some of those past pieces starting with the first in September 2009. These are the unedited versions. These are dated when I wrote them as to when they were published. This is the first. This has probably been one of the most nerve-racking pieces of writing I...

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Another Link In The Chain

Jun 21, 2009 |

Wrote this for my first Father's Day as a father: What is it about our society today?  The eternal optimist, I truly believe that there is always hope, for the individual and for our species as a whole, but there is one thing I can’t figure out?  On a daily basis, I met people - men and women - who carry so much anger and rage when the subject turns to ‘fathers’.  Is it my circles or is this now a norm in our society?  Why is it that when you mention that you were raised by your father, there is surprise?  Why is it when you assume that a father is part of the family equation, it seems...

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