This is a potential performance poem I am currently working. While I am still going to be building it, I need to lock down the first part to possibly perform at a gig. My people at Twitter suggested I upload here for comment. It’s also sitting on YouTube.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0j38Xp3ras
Feeling a bit self-conscious about this one for some reason. It’s probably because it is coming on two years since I really wrote and completed a new piece. I have notes, thoughts, scraps, scribblings, but nothing I consider any where near completion. I obviously still haven’t found the rhythm or ‘voice’ for the piece but I hope it is coherent enough.
Moving piece. Love it.
….but please do it again & move the cell phone away from the mic!
perfectly and very well written ,words that echoes my own thoughts ,the creativity within that comes out of geniuses ….
peace and stuff!
roos
Thanks Graeme. I promise to re-do.
i dig this! a fresh survey of seemingly charted landscape. a child’s point of view that piques listener’s curiosity and triggers nostalgia. all good things!
at this stage, the poem is beginning to exhibit the potential of its rhythmic abilities: entrancing and powerful. keep carving away at it. i suspect as you refine its structure, you shall, too, reveal its natural cadence.
thank you for having the courage to share a work-in-progress. please share again as things develop!
beautiful. both in content and delivery.
one thing: the ‘beat in tune to the beating of his heartbeat’ line doesn’t flow as smoothly as the rest…i don’t know if it’s the wording or the phrasing, but it’s the only thing that struck me.
otherwise, awesome. as per usual. 🙂
Lurv it!
Content, delivery and flow…
Got me stuck with a melody and a question in my head: “Where have the good songs gone, where have they gone???”
This piece should be the opening piece for The Moshito Music Conference & Exhibition next Wednesday…
This piece should be played at high volume, especially, in every music studio…
“where have all the good songs gone?? where have they gone??” listening to this piece takes me somewhere – i can’t quite say where but i went somewhere. from the moment you started reading to the moment you finished… saul williams came to mind – the flow, the rhythm, the rhythm and the flow.
thank you for sharing kojo – i look forward to seeing you perform the final piece in person.
This is definitely worth building on, I really enjoyed it
Thank you. Working on performing it at gig this weekend. Will then start to expand on it.
this was such a beautiful piece with so much poignant imagery and crafty storytelling. beautifully read and written.
Melodious. I’m no performer, I’m the audience. That’s where I’m most comfortable. And this sounds like a crowd-pleaser.
Did you get to perform it before a group?
I haven’t as yet. There’s something missing somewhere that I can’t get a handle on. It feels uncomfortable at certain points (when performing). Took a step back from it & will start on it again next week probably.
I’ll probably be coming home for a visit in 2011. Too much traffic next year (enjoyed your post on the Cup). I’d love to meet up, Jozi or Maseru. I have a sister in Jozi.
Have you ever been part of sites like Read Write Poem? You should check them out. One of their qualities is to set you writing, to prompt you, and to have you reading others.
Ntate, would definitely be good to connect when you do come down. Either space works for me. Perhaps I’ll make that side before and we can also meet then :-). Been sending packages out to various festivals.
I’ll check out http://readwritepoem.org/.
Not a poet but like this very much and hope to see your performance on youtube or something:-)