The last couple of months have been long. A journey laced with apathy, lethargy and a lack of direction as I make a transition out of where I was to where I think I want to go. The one thing my last job taught me is that I am not necessarily the most employable person out there and, therefore, I need to focus on my own projects, my own ideas, my own dreams, my own structures.
Working on Blaque magazine taught me a great deal about myself and the rag trade and I would not change the experience for anything. We are where we are supposed to be, doing what we are supposed to be doing. The one thing that I have struggled with has been the stringing of words together, in whatever form. Due to the unique challenges at Blaque, I was under-pressure to write a great deal and, in a way, that dimmed the spark. I went from writing creatively every day to writing nothing.
In the first month or so after I left, it was cool. I considered the transition back to the Word to be a mental one that required time. Also, in December, for the first time since I was about 2 / 3 years old, I went to the land of my father, Ghana. I had the opportunity to see where my people come from, where my father grew up and where my roots and, to a certain extent, a piece of my soul lies. A great deal to absorb and process. I knew I would write about it but in due time.
I have since gone back to Ghana and the words continue to elude me. Until now.
I had become self-defeatist. I am a firm believer in the idea that “we manifest our thought” and the more I felt I was struggling to write, the more I struggled to write. No more. I am a writer. There is nothing in this world that gives me as much joy. And there is no greater state than to be able to live off your passion. I do believe there is a way and I have committed myself to taking that path.
I shall manifest positive thought and create a life that my son can be proud of.
This new blog is a re-affirmation and a consolidation. This is home-base. This is where my new beginnings begin. Again.
That piece reached within the deepest of places in me … how I wished it was written for me … well! Profound and such talent … God bless thy work … do what you do best brother … I love it … love it .. love it..yeah!
hey Julia, I am glad you found some relevance in the words
Ok, here’s the situation… At some point i stopped reading your Ramblings, and the reason i stopped reading them is because, well…how do i put this… you constantly seem to be tapping into my inner-most, clutered, unresolved thoughts and emotions and make sense of them in the simplest of ways.
I know! I know! You’ve told me a million times, stop trying to make rocket science out of the simple things. I am starting to get that, and i pray that some day i will be as wise as and help to someone else as you have been to me.